Things that make you go "Hmmm"

01. Why do we park in driveways and drive on parkways?
02. Why does Hawaii have interstate highways?
03. If a train station is where the train stops, what is a workstation?
04. If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan?
05. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
06. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
07. Why do banks charge a "non-sufficient funds" fee on money they already know u don't have?
08. Why do they put Braille on the drive through ATM machines?
09. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
10. Why aren't there B batteries?
11. If the post office has machines that can sort mail at 1000's of times per minute, then why do they give it to a little old man on a bike to deliver?
12. Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
13. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
14. If the #2 pencil is so popular, why is it still #2?
15. How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
16. How do u know that honesty is the best policy until u have tried some of the others?
17. How does a thermos know if the drink should be hot or cold?
18. How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
19. If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
20. Why do hot dogs come 10 to a package and hot dog buns only 8?
21. Why do tourists go to the tops of tall buildings and then put money into telescopes so they can see things on the ground close-up?
22. Why is it that bullets ricochet off of Superman's chest, but he ducks when the gun is thrown at him?
23. Why is it that you must wait until night to call it a day?
24. When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
25. What happened to the first 6 "ups"?
26. If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress?
27. If scientists were ever going to figure out how to travel through time, wouldn’t we now be seeing people from the future?
28. Do crematoriums give discounts to burn victims?
29. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?"
30. Why are Christmas lights packaged with the warning "For indoor or outdoor use only"? Where else would you put them?
31. Why do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front?
32. If The Flintstones were B.C., how could they have Christmas or Thanksgiving specials?
33. When people say "PIN number," do they know they're saying "Personal Identification Number Number?
34. If you had x-ray vision and could see through anything, wouldn't you see through everything and actually see nothing?
35. If a person owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth?
36. What should you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

There Are Two Kinds of People In The World pT.2

• There Are Two Kinds of People In The World: Generalists and Specialists.

• There Are Two Kinds of People In The World: Bullies and Nerds

• There Are Two Kinds of People In The World: Players and Haters.

• There Are Two Kinds of People In The World: Me and You.

• There Are Two Kinds of People In The World: Pessimists and Optimists.

• There Are Two Kinds of People In The World: Givers and Takers.

Sunshine and Rainbows

Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place, and I don't care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward; how much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! Now, if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that!

-Quote From Rocky Balboa (2006)

There Are Two Kinds of People In The World

• There Are Two Kinds of People In The World: Those Who Think There Are Two Kinds of People In The World and Those Who Don’t.
• There Are Two Kinds of People In The World: Those who make things complicated, and those who make things simple.
• There Are Two Kinds of People In The World: Those who walk into a room and say, ‘There you are!’ – and those who say, ‘Here I am!'
• There Are Two Kinds of People In The World: Those who accomplish things, and those who claim to have accomplished things.
• There Are Two Kinds of People In The World: Those that are nervous speakers and those that are good liars.
• There Are Two Kinds of People In The World: Those who agreed with me, and those who hadn’t yet agreed with me.
• There Are Two Kinds of People In The World: Those who follow the rules and those who make the rules.
• There Are Two Kinds of People In The World: Those who love to talk, and those who hate to listen.
• There Are Two Kinds of People In The World: Those who cannot do what they are told, and those who can do nothing else.
• There Are Three Kinds of People In The World: Those who know math and those who don’t.
• There Are Two Kinds of People In The World: Those who do all the work, and the people who think they do all the work.

Wheelbarrows

A man got a job as a night watchman at a factory. There had been a lot of thefts by the workers on the night shift, and so every morning when the night shift workers passed through his gate it was his job to check their bags and pockets to make sure that nothing was being stolen.

Things were going along very well the first night on the job until a man pushing a wheelbarrow of newspaper came through his gate. Aha, he thought, that man thinks he can cover up what he is stealing with that newspaper. So he removed the paper only to find nothing.

Still he felt that the man was acting strangely, so he questioned him about the paper.

"I get a little extra money from newspapers I recycle, so I go into the lunchroom and pick up all the ones people have thrown away."

The guard let him pass, but decided to keep a close eye on him.

The next night it was the same, and the night after that.

Week after week it went on. The same guy would push the wheelbarrow of newspapers past the guard's checkpoint. The guard would always check and find nothing.
Then one night, about a year later, the guard reported for work only to find a message had been left for him telling him to report to his supervisor.

He walked into the supervisor's office and before he could say a word, the boss said, "You're fired!" "Fired?" he asked in total surprise. "Why? What did I do?"
"It was your job to make sure that no one stole anything from this plant and you have failed. So you're fired." "Wait a minute, what do you mean failed. Nobody ever stole anything from this place while I was on guard."

"Oh, really," the boss answered. "Then how do you account for the fact that there are 365 wheelbarrows missing?

BUSINESS

The best BUSINESS is to mind your BUSINESS, if u don’t have any BUSINESS make it your BUSINESS to leave everybody else BUSINESS alone because if u were minding your BUSINESS you wouldn’t be in my BUSINESS in the first place…so go get yourself some BUSINESS.

We The Willing….

We the willing,
Led by the unknowing,
Are doing the impossible,
For the ungrateful

And

We have been doing this
For so long,
With so little,
That we are now qualified
To do anything with nothing
Or nothing with anything

And

We do it quite well