- Those that MAKE shit Happen
- Those that WATCH shit happen
- Those that ASK what happen
Monday, March 21, 2011
There Are Three Kinds of People In The World
There are three kinds of People;
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Things that make you go "Hmmm"
01. Why do we park in driveways and drive on parkways?
02. Why does Hawaii have interstate highways?
03. If a train station is where the train stops, what is a workstation?
04. If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan?
05. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
06. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
07. Why do banks charge a "non-sufficient funds" fee on money they already know u don't have?
08. Why do they put Braille on the drive through ATM machines?
09. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
10. Why aren't there B batteries?
11. If the post office has machines that can sort mail at 1000's of times per minute, then why do they give it to a little old man on a bike to deliver?
12. Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
13. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
14. If the #2 pencil is so popular, why is it still #2?
15. How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
16. How do u know that honesty is the best policy until u have tried some of the others?
17. How does a thermos know if the drink should be hot or cold?
18. How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
19. If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
20. Why do hot dogs come 10 to a package and hot dog buns only 8?
21. Why do tourists go to the tops of tall buildings and then put money into telescopes so they can see things on the ground close-up?
22. Why is it that bullets ricochet off of Superman's chest, but he ducks when the gun is thrown at him?
23. Why is it that you must wait until night to call it a day?
24. When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
25. What happened to the first 6 "ups"?
26. If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress?
27. If scientists were ever going to figure out how to travel through time, wouldn’t we now be seeing people from the future?
28. Do crematoriums give discounts to burn victims?
29. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?"
30. Why are Christmas lights packaged with the warning "For indoor or outdoor use only"? Where else would you put them?
31. Why do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front?
32. If The Flintstones were B.C., how could they have Christmas or Thanksgiving specials?
33. When people say "PIN number," do they know they're saying "Personal Identification Number Number?
34. If you had x-ray vision and could see through anything, wouldn't you see through everything and actually see nothing?
35. If a person owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth?
36. What should you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
02. Why does Hawaii have interstate highways?
03. If a train station is where the train stops, what is a workstation?
04. If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan?
05. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
06. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
07. Why do banks charge a "non-sufficient funds" fee on money they already know u don't have?
08. Why do they put Braille on the drive through ATM machines?
09. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
10. Why aren't there B batteries?
11. If the post office has machines that can sort mail at 1000's of times per minute, then why do they give it to a little old man on a bike to deliver?
12. Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
13. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
14. If the #2 pencil is so popular, why is it still #2?
15. How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
16. How do u know that honesty is the best policy until u have tried some of the others?
17. How does a thermos know if the drink should be hot or cold?
18. How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
19. If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
20. Why do hot dogs come 10 to a package and hot dog buns only 8?
21. Why do tourists go to the tops of tall buildings and then put money into telescopes so they can see things on the ground close-up?
22. Why is it that bullets ricochet off of Superman's chest, but he ducks when the gun is thrown at him?
23. Why is it that you must wait until night to call it a day?
24. When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
25. What happened to the first 6 "ups"?
26. If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress?
27. If scientists were ever going to figure out how to travel through time, wouldn’t we now be seeing people from the future?
28. Do crematoriums give discounts to burn victims?
29. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?"
30. Why are Christmas lights packaged with the warning "For indoor or outdoor use only"? Where else would you put them?
31. Why do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front?
32. If The Flintstones were B.C., how could they have Christmas or Thanksgiving specials?
33. When people say "PIN number," do they know they're saying "Personal Identification Number Number?
34. If you had x-ray vision and could see through anything, wouldn't you see through everything and actually see nothing?
35. If a person owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth?
36. What should you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
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